My sweet, beautiful, darling daughter Olivia recently turned one. For the first 10 months of her life she was laid back, calm, loving, and absolutely an easy baby.
One day that all changed.
It started with an insert of independence into our normal daily routine. She flipped over at a diaper change. Gradually, she began to flip over at each diaper change. Then she started flipping over and trying to crawl away. Then she began to twist and pout and try with all her might to get away at each diaper change, rolling over again and again. It is a miracle that her diaper even gets fastened sometimes.
She has found other ways to try to insist on her independence from refusing to allow us to dress her to fighting us as we brush her hair or put on her shoes( which end up kicked off somewhere in the house, the car, the ground, the store, who KNOWS where she will toss them next!) She throws all out temper tantrums - throwing her body backwards onto the ground, arching her back, and stamping her little feet into the ground. She has this last move down to a science and it is no longer a left foot/right foot alternation. She lifts both legs high into the air and slams them down to the ground at the same time. I swear I once saw the move on the WWF. It is a move that would make Hulk Hogan proud.
Honestly, I dont know where this child came from!
But yet I do.
You see, for all the things that Olivia insists on doing herself or doing her way... none of them are things that she has the skill or capacity to do herself right now. Yes, she could manage to get a cherrio from the high chair to her mouth but she can't get the cereal from the cabinet, she can't change her own diaper(she couldnt even open the diaper cream lid!) She can't dress herself, comb her hair, put on her shoes, or even walk well for that matter( I just know someday soon she is going to get that one down! Please! Walk!!!!) Olivia is trying so hard to do life HER way and yet, she could not successfully sustain life that way. And I can see a reflection of myself in her behavior, spiritually speaking.
She is absolutely and positively on the beginning edge of what many affectionately refer to as the terrible twos. As I watch her act out and think about her behavior, I cant help but ponder at what point in my life I went through the terrible twos with God, spiritually speaking. I would like to think I am past that point in my life and have matured enough spiritually that I dont act out in such a childish manner. But some days, I may be wrong about that assumption. I still have days that I try to be so self driven and independent of outside direction(even from God) and I havent seemed to learn that I cant survive independently without God in my life.
I have to ask myself- am I in my spiritual terrible twos? And can I ever outgrow them?