The rainy days are no longer rainyThe sunny days shine so bright I can hardly see.The cold does not seem so chilling.Even the pain seems to find more healing..
and all becuase of you - Ethan Brock
For those of you that know me- you know I can be moody, easily depressed, stressed..... I swear that my heart is just too big for my body. I feel too much too fast too deep.Earlier this week I was so overwelmed. I just could not hold it in any longer. It was so long overdue. I was home from a LONG day at work and Ethan was eating dinner in his chair. I was sitting at the little wooden dining table and I put my hands over my face so that he couldnt see me cry. The tears were giant crocodile tears and I could not hold back the wracking sobs. IN the midst of this total meltdown I peak around my hands to see if Ethan has noticed becuase I dont want him to become scared becuase he has never seen me really cry. My most precious baby is laughing and hiding his face behind his hands. He peeked around and laughed some more. He thought I was playing peekaboo and he thought my sob was a laugh and when he heard it he laughed louder.Ethan, even in the midst of my hardest days you bring me comfort.God, thank you for this precious gift in my son, who is a comforter and healer to everyone he touches. He brings so much joy to the world around him. May you always be his rock and guiding force. May he always trust in you.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
So I just went to check on my sweet sleeping babe- he is of course sprawled out with his legs poking out the slats- i moved them and he did wake up but he didnt get scared-mostly just seemed mad that i woke him.He usually curls up with his stuffed frog and his spidey blanket( okay so right now the blanket he is most attached to is leapard print- YES I SAID LEAPARD print)I just am so in love with that boy and I love being a mommy more and more everyday. And I am more in love with Cliff than ever for giving him to me and for just being an awesome dad. I am sooo blessed.Ethan is very much into dirt and Finding Nemo, he loves to play ball, and he loves to play pretend( right now the pretend thing is to make the little stuffed animals or bath animals make noises and jump around) He also loves to play follow the leader . Being a mommy has changed my life for the better in SO many ways!!!!!!!Thank you Lord for this beautiful family!!!!!!!!!