Monday, September 03, 2007

2nd Month Birthday

My Dearest Faith,
We are at the dawn of your 2 month birthday. I still think of you everyday, all day. It is hard to believe that it has been 2 months since the day we welcomed you into this big wide world, one of the most precious and cherished days of my life. In fact, the 9 days we had with you are the happiest and saddest days of my life. It makes me sad as each day passes that I am moving another day farther from the time I got to hold you in my arms, and yet, I am stepping one day closer to the day when I will be reunited with you in Heaven. How is that for bittersweet?I met another little girl today with your name. It made me wonder what you would have been like when you reached the age of 8, just as she was. You are and forever will be a great mystery dear daughter. I sometimes grow angry that I will never get to know the deep turns and folds of your personality, never get to watch you grow older, never get to brush your hair, to laugh and play games- just as I do with your older brother Ethan. But that list of wishes and wants for you is endless and will always be left unquenched and wanting.Your brother talks about you everyday. He still asks to see you and he delights in visiting 'your spot' in the cemetary. He loves to bring flowers to place there and likes to play with all of your little girl and angel figurines. Just yesterday he dug through his toys and set up a Giraffe family with his plastic figurines. We were all there( mommy, daddy, ethan- in giraffe form of course) and he even sent Grandma digging for the tiny baby one - "for Fabe" as he calls you. His acknowledgement and acceptance of you into our family both soothes and breaks my heart. It soothes me becuase you so obviously belong there and I dont want your place ever forgotten, but it breaks my heart because he never got time to know you. He just has so much love for you.Your daddy and I talk about you everyday too. You are never far from our thoughts. We talk about the ways that your presence in our life has changed us and how much you have inspired us to be better people and to make a difference. Did you know your life has given us so much hope and strength for each day we will face and the people we can choose to be? I still cry out for you. I hope you hear and know how very much I love you so.You are such a blessing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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