Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Laughter and Tears

Today was a good day.
Today I made a trek to the city to meet a friend for dinner and shop a bit for myself. I am finding my solitary time very lonely and try to fill up my time as much as I can. As I strolled through the mall I was deeply saddened by a small statue of a mom and a baby at the Hallmark store, by the children skipping by the fountain, and all the noise and hustle and bustle around me. As I walked through the mall I wondered at how life changes so fast. I wondered how I could go on each day with such a hole in my heart- and yet my heart is still beating. I marveled at the people around me and wondered who in my midst had sorrow pulsing through their veins, pulsing like a ragging river just as mine did, but who were equally successful at hiding it. My heart hurt for my absent daughter and it hurt for those around me that may be hurting too. I thought How hard life can be! Why is it so hard?Just when the burden grows so heavy that we can't seem to take anymore, God is faithful to step in and keep our foot from faltering and to help us carry the load. He is the ultimate shelter from this storm of life. As I continued through the mall God brought an old friend into my path. How she, with a busy 1 year old, job, and home to run, and I , who have gone to a mall 2 times in the last 3 months, happened to be in the same place at the same time in a big city with many malls, truly an act of God. Her presence brought joy to my heart. We talked only a few minutes but it was enough to lift my spirit- to turn my thoughts outward to those I care about instead of inward on all my sorrow.Following my time at the mall I met my oldest and dearest friend for dinner. I was able to be confortable in my own skin for the first time in many weeks in such a public place. We fell so easily into an old routine (that goes back years) and laughed and cut up until we were either about to cry or wet our pants from laughing so hard.I am thankful to God that my days are not only dark. That amongst my sorrow there can be joy...... amonst my tears there is still laughter.
Thank you God. Thank you for my daily breath of life! May I forge through even the darkest days so that I may glimpse the shining sun. May I give each day my all just as my sweet daughter gave hers for every day of her life.Your compassions are new each morning! Your compassions never fail............

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