Thursday, July 26, 2007

2 weeks

Dearest Daughter,
It has been 2 weeks today since your death dear daughter and the pain is not any lighter. As we approach the hour of your death I cannot help but think of you. In fact, I think of you each and every day, all day, and I cannot imagine life without you, and yet I live it each day.I feel like there is an imaginary string that attaches my heart to yours, a heartstring. I feel so close to you and yet feel so far apart. I whisper words to you into the air, and they fall to earth becuase you are not here with me. I feel like I couldnt do enough for you, and the burden and longing in my heart to carry on caring for you, it is still there and buring ever so brightly and deeply. I dont know what to do with those feelings- the longings to be your mommy and love you and hold you and care for your every need. I want to share you with everyone I meet- to shout out what a beautiful daughter I have. But this pride of parenthood dies on my lips becuase it makes everyone so sad to hear about you.I dont know what to do, child of mine, to extinguish this burning in my gut........I just know I miss you ever so much.I love you dear daughter, and I hope you knew in your days here, just what you mean to me. I hope we had time enough together that I could show you that you are the apple of my eye, the joy of my heart, and I hope you knew I would have cared for you forever, regardless of condition or struggles or needs. I would have given up everything I have to care for you. I miss you, Baby Girl.

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