Monday, October 06, 2008

Thursdays

When I was a little girl, my mom told me I was born on a Thursday. "Thursday's Child" she called me, and then she would quote an old song "Monday's child is fair of face,Tuesday's child is full of grace,Wednesday's child is full of woe,Thursday's child has far to go,Friday's child is loving and giving,Saturday's child must work for a living,But the child that's born on the Sabbath day,Is fair and wise and good and gay." And so I became the child who had far to go... although my mother always made it sound as if I would go far.... I WAS GOING PLACES.
The years turn, the world was spinning, and 24 years after I became a Thursday's child, I had another Thursday's Child. In fact, I had my Thursday's child in the very same hospital that my mother had her Thursdays child.
But even after all this, Thursdays didn't seem any different to me than any other day. Nothing was different to me about Thursday than the hump day before it or the TGIF after it. Thursday was thursday was thursday.... and sometimes I didnt even notice when one came and went.

This all changed for me in my 27th year. On July 12 of my 27th year I held my little girl in my arms for the very first-and last- time. The world stopped- for a moment- and everything was rearranged. And every week to follow, for months on end, stopped on Thursdays and my world would feel as if all its pieces had been jumbled up... and couldnt be made smooth. Sometimes my heart would grow so heavy that I could feel Thursdays arrival before it arrived... By humpday my mind had dulled, my feet grew heavy, my voice became numb as I retreated into myself.
Sometimes, Thursdays were so heavy that they bled into humpday and TGIF and the weekend to follow. Sometimes Thursdays seemed to be connected to each other...... a seemless loop that led one into the other.
In the last few months I have managed to skip a Thursday or two without feeling so blue. The Thursdays now stretch further and far between.... and sometimes Thursday doesnt even fall on Thursday anymore. Last week it came on Wednesday and all I could think was how much my humpday felt like Thursday. So if you here me say "Today feels like a thursday..." well, you know what I mean. :)

4 comments:

All the world's a stage said...

We may have far to go, but at least we aren't all alone.

fawn said...

My goodness, this is beautiful. Seriously. I have chills. "I have much farther to go, everything is new and so unpredictable. I just want to click my heels together and go home, but I don't know where that is anymore ..."

And I am also stealing your poem idea for a blog. Hope you don't mind.

the rigdons said...

beautiful.
i love you, sweet friend.

MDAC said...

all the worlds a stage,

Well I always have loved those long road trips.... and I am certainly not afraid to take the road less traveled....... so lets put on some good tunes and enjoy the journey